Thursday, April 19, 2012

My Encounter with Jesus

For countless months I’ve been beseeching my Lord during precious quiet times that I might have an encounter with Him; to experience His manifest presence.

Maybe 2 months ago, my younger sister Michelle notified me of a healing conference in her area and asked me to pray about whether I should go or not. Through believing for my healing, God has intimately brought me closer and closer to my true heart’s desire, which is to know my Healer. I asked my LORD about going and He replied, yes. Not only once, but several times, He answered me through His word. My husband gave me his blessing and we bought a ticket to fly north.

My time of waiting was filled with anticipation as the cry of my heart continued to be, “Jesus, I don’t want to ‘just’ be healed, I want to see Your face, encounter Your presence, to meet with You.”

A few weeks prior to leaving, the Lord spoke to my heart to fast for 3 days, and confirms His Word through scripture. I’m determined to hear His voice and walk in obedience.
I long to know His Father’s Heart. My sister feels led to join me in the 3 day fast.

Attending the 2-day sessions and evening services of the conference were glorious experiences, for the sheer delight of being with fellow worshippers who were unabashed in their expressions of love and adoration for the KING OF KINGS.

On the 3rd day of the conference, our fast was complete and we ate in faith. That morning the LORD reminded me of Daniel and his 21-day fast, that the angel came ‘after’ the fast was over. (See Daniel chapter 10). I sensed that my LORD was telling me that I too was going to experience Him upon the completion of my fast…which meant today was the day!

We attended a special ministry luncheon and went through a prayer line. They anointed our heads with oil and spoke words of knowledge over us. A woman laid her hands on me and said, “God has heard your heart’s desire and He is right now going to give you your heart’s desire.” I tucked that away in my heart.

It was the 2:00 session and the speaker, who was also a worship leader, called all who were sick to come forward and find a place on the floor. I went up, walking with my cane for support, in anticipation. I sat with my legs straight in front of me, back upright (with no back support) on the floor up near the alter. I closed my eyes and began to worship my King. The speaker encouraged us to picture ourselves worshipping uninhibited, all alone in a field of tall grass. While doing just what he had said, I saw myself dancing! I was dancing before the LORD in worship to Him. With my hands lifted up twirling and dancing, Jesus entered the “vision” and danced with me. My LORD danced and twirled me in the field of tall grass. The vision ended.

I continued to worship Him, my eyes closed, thanking Him for the beautiful vision He just gave me. (To understand the significance you need to realize I haven’t been able to walk unassisted, let alone dance, for almost 8 years).

Then it happened….I distinctly saw Jesus (with my eyes closed), walking through the crowd of people, towards me, touching several worshipper’s heads along the way. The God of all creation bent over and smiled at me, almost playfully. He then lowered Himself down to one knee and proceeded to sit casually at my feet “Indian Style” (legged crossed). I noticed His sandaled feet, and white robe.

I glanced down (the whole time I have this ‘vision’ my eyes were closed), and saw His hand on my chest! I immediately grab onto His hand with both of mine. This is how others observed me for hours with my hands clasped over my chest. I cannot begin to describe how real this encounter with Jesus truly was. The tender words He spoke, the way He looked, the atmosphere of His Presence was truly beyond words. I saw different features (hands, feet, forearms etc…) rather than a complete picture and I sensed it was a matter of trust.

During my time with Jesus, He shared some very specific and personal things with me. He did not speak in audible words, His lips never moved, but rather we communicated via the language of Heaven…heart to heart. He also allowed me to see things in the spirit realm.

At some point I looked down and noticed His forearm instead of His hands, indicating He had changed positions, I now noticed that He was holding my hands. My sister and others observed these slight changes, for they were the only discernable movement during the 9 hours that I sat there with Jesus! My sister said that I had such an expression of “Bliss” on my face, she just knew that THE KING OF GLORY was there~ she got a purple flag and began to wave it in honor of His literal Presence in our midst.

Several times I thanked Abba (Daddy Father God~) for sending His Son to spend time with me, and when I did I saw Jesus smile. It brought Him such pleasure when I thanked the Father. I also saw Jesus smile several times during worship; I sensed His pleasure in our worship of Him.

About 2/3rds of the way through the 9 hours, the evening speaker asked the children if Jesus had given any of them a word of knowledge? A young boy about 6 or 7 years old went to the microphone and said Jesus told him to pray for a woman with a cane. The young boy and several others gathered around me and laid hands upon me. Then a young woman came and sat behind me and she began to pray not only with power and authority, but with very specific detail concerning my condition including the tumor, my spinal cord, my nerves etc… that I knew she was hearing directly from Him! (I later discovered that earlier that day while in coffee shop, I man came up to this college student and told her she would later be praying over a woman with a cane! That’s why she responded when the young boy announced it over the microphone!) As she prayed, I could feel warmth radiating from where her hands were on my back. The prayer from her and others around me continued for over an hour then I knew it was time. Excitedly I yelled out and they lifted me up. With a young woman on either side of me, we began to walk. With every step my stride lengthened as my legs felt lighter and stronger! It was happening!! I could feel it happening!! My sister was ahead of us videoing, while my niece was behind me walking and watching. We walked once around the sanctuary when a woman abruptly stopped us and asked us to pray over a young paralytic. He had seen me walking and all of us praising God and assumed my miracle was complete. Even though we were in the throes of the long awaited miracle of my healing, we never hesitated to go pray over him. We prayed for quite some time and witnessed the move of the Spirit upon His life as he gave his life to Christ. All the while I couldn’t help but notice the longer I stood still, the miraculous changes in my condition were regressing. It was as if strength was receding while my legs got heavier and heavier.

When we finished praying, I asked the girls to walk with me again, but it wasn’t the same. Instead of the lightness and strength, I felt heaviness. Instead of my feet automatically lifting higher and higher, they began to drag and shuffle across the floor. It was after 1 am and the church was closing up for the evening. Sadness and disappointment overwhelmed me….I began to blame myself for not “possessing” my miracle….to see it finished. I was supposed to run. I was distracted. I messed up God’s plan. (Notice how the enemy tried to turn my focus from the glorious gaze of Jesus and His work onto myself and my supposed failure). I eventually went to bed, but not before I wrote out my entire encounter with Jesus in detail until 4:20 am.

I wanted to bask in the reality of my encounter with Jesus but I could not push away the tortured thoughts that I somehow messed up God’s plan to manifest my healing. Thoughts of TRUTH did penetrate my heart of despair knowing our Omnipresent God lives outside of time. He knew all that happened was going to happen. I could NOT mess up any plan of God. Yes, maybe it was a distraction and I didn’t receive my healing in completion. But…what satan meant for harm…God will turn for HIS GOOD. My thoughts swung back and forth from faith to fear and eventually I fell into a fitful sleep. An hour later, I bolted awake to an all-out assault of torturous thoughts. Though I should have resisted them, I found myself wrestling with them back and forth from mind to heart.

Exhausted, I finally fell back to sleep, only to awake the next morning to an overwhelming presence of grief. After my mom and niece left to go back home, my sister, sensing in her spirit what was going on inside of me, prayed and spoke truth over me. She reminded me that the God of all creation left the right hand of the Father for 9 hours to sit with me. She commanded the discouragement, grief, and disappointment to leave in Jesus name. She also reminded me how He answered the very cry of my heart! I had repeatedly asked to have an intimate encounter, to behold His face. She retold the power and reality of this supernatural experience and how the enemy wanted to steal the power and joy of it all. All sadness and discouragement LEFT. I kid you not, it was completely gone. My heart lifted, and rejoiced in God as I began to praise Him.

My LORD and savior Yeshua, came and visited me and sat with me for almost 9 hours. Thank you Abba Yehovah, thank you Yeshua, my King and my bridegroom God.

I have never been more sure than now, that my body will respond to the work that the LORD Himself had done (not only on the cross) but while with me. I WILL RUN ON THIS SIDE OF HEAVEN. I choose this day and every day to trust in Jesus.

Oh how HE loves me ~ but realize precious child of God… just how much HE loves you too. That is one of the messages of this entire encounter… that God the Son would leave heaven to sit with a “nobody.” I’m no one famous, just a housewife and mother of 4, longing for MORE OF HIM. I long to know my Jesus, and the wonders of His person. He responds to every longing heart! Simply ask Him. Jer 29:13 “And you will seek ME and find ME, when you search for ME with all your heart.”

Saturday, April 7, 2012

The most amazing experience of my life

I've been asking in my heart of hearts to behold Jesus, yet in my wildest dreams I did not expect to have the kind of intimate encounter that I had this past weekend. Jesus told me healing would come with the "laying on of hands" but how could I possibly anticipate they would actually be HIS HANDS?? You won't want to miss the "rest of the story" come back soon to hear the detailed, life-changing encounter!!