My morning coffee..."My story continues"

I sit here with the last bit of my precious morning coffee, you see, I love coffee, but this morning its very needed!!!

I awoke this morning at about 3:30am....to the anticipated LOUD noise of my husband's shotgun. (The excitement and relief causing me to be instantly alert) He's been "hunting" for almost 2 weeks now, a destructive armadillo. I've yelled at the top of my lungs..."Don't come back, or you will die", for days on end now, as I fix and tend to the torn up soil around my beloved roses and other plants and trees. He's finally dead. The threat of killing more sod and destroying more plants and flowers is gone, at least until another critter finds our property.

I share that not as part of my story so much as to show you that I'm just like you in someway....maybe many ways. I'm not without my own dreams, desires, problems, flaws and hang-ups, pains and joys.

I'm a wife of 28 years and mother of 4 boys. I have many struggles, perhaps my two greatest being a mother and walking, trying to remain upright while supporting myself with a cane.

Let's rewind a bit.....back to why I walk with a cane.

It's 2002....late December, Christmas has past and our twins are STILL inside me. I've cried, and pleaded and begged God to let them come early, for I hurt, but along with the pain, I also felt a weird sense of numbness in my legs. I attributed that to the pregnancy. For you should have seen me, I was HUGE. Everyone that seen me would say, "it just doesn't look 'natural'!!!

It's January 17, 2003, my doctor says they are full term....we'll induce!! Tears of joy!!

As days and weeks go by after I gave birth, the weird numbness does not go away. I also notice that I have alot less strength in my legs, having to pull myself up the stairs with my hands holding the rail.

Still attributing it all to the pregnancy, as I was also on bed rest for 3 months.

I finally go to see a doctor (at my family's urging) summer of 2003. He gets no reflex from my left knee and very little from my right. Hmmmm, he says with a very crinkled brow and frown. He orders an MRI and muscle test.

I leave his office thinking maybe arthritis or something soooo treatable, maybe with some meds and rehab. Later in the week I go to have the tests done and the MRI.

A week or so passes and a Sunday rolls around... a brother-in-law shows up at our house, he says he felt compelled to leave the church service to come pray over me. Even though I was unsure why, I welcomed his prayer. A sweet sense of peace seemed to cloak me, and I knew that God had sent him and that God was acutely aware of me and my situation and that HE loved me. This was to become very precious to me and a kind of foundation of faith for the upcoming days and even years ahead!!

Monday morning and I need to go back to the doctors, he was to read the findings of the tests and MRI to me. I go...not a bit nervous, he seemed to be though.

He puts up the MRIs and starts to explain to me. Maria, you seem to have some kind of growth or tumor INSIDE your spinal cord. I stand there numb....with a stupid smile on my face (even though I didn't know it was there, you see, I tend to do that when I'm scared or nervous). He read that as not comprehending the horrific news, and restates it. Maria, this is very serious, you must understand what I'm saying, do you? I say yes, and eventually leave, scared and numb. (after he gives me the name and number of his recommended neuro-surgeon, that I was to call ASAP)

The minute I close the door to our van, the flood gates opened and I cried, maybe unlike any other time in my life. What in the world? Why, God? How? What's going to happen to me? I started the van and drove off, trying to see through the very blurred vision of tears.

I'm sorry, but as its getting late and there is much to do today....you will have to tune in later to resume my story with me. I hope you do, for its an amazing story.... Until then, hope you have a great day!! I plan on it, it's sunny outside, suppose to be in the lower 80's, and with the threat of destruction gone for awhile, I get to resume my planting and tending with joy!!